Hood River Windsurfer Now 40 Minutes Into Describing Wind Conditions

HOOD RIVER — A man in the Event Site parking lot has been describing Friday’s wind conditions to an acquaintance for 40 minutes as of press time, according to bystanders, several of whom initially believed the conversation to be ending and were wrong.

The man has so far characterized the wind as “nuking,” then “cranking,” then “honestly, victory at sea out there,” refining each assessment with hand gestures witnesses describe as increasingly nautical.

The acquaintance is understood to have said “nice” eleven times, a count he did not dispute.

“He hasn’t been on the water yet,” one bystander noted. “This is about the wind as a concept.”

At press time the wind had shifted, a development the man had begun to describe.