Your Cascadia Earthquake Kit: A Complete and Unsettling Checklist

BRUSH PRAIRIE — Somewhere off the coast, the Cascadia Subduction Zone continues its multi-century policy of saying nothing, which residents correctly find worse. Emergency officials ask households to be ready to stand alone for two weeks; a federal official once famously summarized post-quake conditions west of I-5 in a single word this desk’s editors will render as “inoperable.” This desk therefore publishes the complete regional kit list — the official layer, and the layer this county actually builds, sometimes to appraisal-grade.

The official core (real, do this part)

• Water — one gallon per person per day, fourteen days. It is more water than you think. It is always more water than you think.
• Food — two weeks of shelf-stable calories your household will actually eat. The earthquake will not improve anyone’s opinion of the chili.
• Radio, flashlight, batteries — the crank radio’s true function is emitting hope at 3 a.m.
• Medications, documents, cash — small bills; card readers do not survive the end of the world, which the region’s readers already suspected of card readers.
• Sturdy shoes by the bed — the single most quietly serious item on the list. Windows break inward.

The regional additions (observed in the field)

• The second generator. For the first generator. This is not a joke; it is a philosophy, and this desk has met its philosopher.
• Coffee redundancy. Officials list water first; the region lists it second. Instant packets, a hand grinder, and a French press in a padded case that once held optics.
• The neighbor plan. Actual resilience doctrine: know who on the street owns the chainsaw, the ham license, and the trailer. In Brush Prairie this information is exchanged before last names.
• The bags by the door. Not packed in fear. Packed in residence. As one Yacolt man told this desk, that is simply where the bags live.

What not to do

Do not plan to drive anywhere at once; the region’s plan for that contingency is a bridge from 1917. Do not rely on one app. Do not tape windows; it is not that kind of event. Do not read further into the subduction zone’s silence than the scientists do, though this desk notes, for the record, that the scientists have kits.

Frequently asked questions

How likely is the Cascadia earthquake?

Published odds for a major rupture run roughly one in three within fifty years for the southern zone. Regionally this is understood as “not today, probably,” which is also the forecast for rain.

Two weeks of supplies — really?

Really. West-side infrastructure will need time. The guidance is the rare document where the government and the preppers agree, an alignment residents find more alarming than either party alone.

Where should I keep the kit?

Somewhere reachable if the house isn’t. The garage, a shed, the truck. Gary keeps his in a dedicated room. Gary’s room is appraised. Be somewhere between the state’s list and Gary.