Brush Prairie Man's Earthquake Kit Now Appraised Above His House

BRUSH PRAIRIE — The emergency preparedness kit of area resident Gary Tulk, 58, has been appraised at a value exceeding that of the manufactured home containing it, following fifteen years of steady investment against the Cascadia subduction earthquake.

The kit includes 400 gallons of water, freeze-dried meals dated through 2041, a ham radio, a generator, and a second generator Tulk describes as “for the first generator.”

“When the Big One comes, all of this will make sense,” Tulk said, standing in the room, which does not currently make sense.

An insurance adjuster confirmed the kit cannot be insured against earthquakes, the sole event it exists for, a detail Tulk called “typical” and declined to discuss further.

Tulk’s home, the adjuster noted, remains fully covered, provided it is destroyed by something other than the thing that will destroy it.